


Patience

by pantheon_of_discord



Series: Season 13 Codas [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, NOT dealing with feelings, Post-Episode: s13e02 The Rising Son, but really more like a s13e03 pre-coda, originally written a few weeks ago but posting now because I said so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-20 21:56:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12442596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pantheon_of_discord/pseuds/pantheon_of_discord
Summary: “You lost your mom, Dean. Again. And your best friend.”“He was more than that.” It bursts from his chest, unbidden, and he immediately wishes he could take it back – suck the confession right back in and keep it next to his heart where it belongs.





	Patience

There’s always going to be something that fucks him over. A stranger in a crowd wearing a tan coat, a witness with too-blue eyes, _any_ of his thirteen favourite songs. Hell, chances are he’s going to break down one day and it’ll be because of a tube of toothpaste or a plate of french fries. But for a nomad who loves to drive, it’s just really inconvenient that one of his biggest issues is the single most popular gas station franchise in the country.

It’s late afternoon, and Dean’s leaning against Baby’s driver-side door. His hands stay in his pockets until he sees the battered truck pull up, and he lifts one hand in greeting.

Jody steps down from the truck, and the slamming door echoes around the Gas ‘n Sip parking lot.

“Hey stranger,” she says, and pulls him into a long hug.

They break apart and Dean attempts a smile. “Yeah, hey. Sorry it’s. . .um, it’s been a while. We’ve had –”

“It’s okay.” Jody mercifully cuts him off. “Sam called a few weeks ago. He told me about. . . he told me what happened. And he, he spoke to Claire.”

Jesus, Claire. Dean hadn’t even thought of that. Selfish.

He swallows. “She okay?”

Jody tips her head back and forth a few times, a kind of half-smile on her face. “She took off for a while, just needed some time to herself, I think. But she’s tough. She’ll get through it.”

“Yeah. That’s good.”

Jody comes to lean right next to Dean and tries to catch his eye. “I would’ve called, but I know you’ve. . . I know it’s been hard. But I’m so sorry, Dean.”

Dean can’t look at her, he just shrugs. “It’s the life, you know? We lose people.”

Jody takes a while to respond. “You don’t have to do that,” she says.

Still averting his eyes, Dean shrugs again. “Do what?”

“Act like you’re okay,” Jody says, voice soft but still so knowing. “You don’t even have to _be_ okay. You’ve gotta try to let it out.”

He shakes his head. “No.”

“You lost your mom, Dean. Again. And your best friend.”

“He was more than that.” It bursts from his chest, unbidden, and he immediately wishes he could take it back – suck the confession right back in and keep it next to his heart where it belongs.

He risks a glance at Jody’s face. It’s open, sympathetic. Pitying. But she’s waiting.

Dean looks away again, pulling in a deep breath through his nose. “He wasn’t just my best friend. I –”

No, it’s not right; he can’t say it, not like this. Not now, when it doesn’t mean a damn thing anymore. “I mean, we _weren’t_ , but. . .”

That’s all he can manage before the vise grip on his heart clenches tight. The words lodge in his throat and suddenly he’s choking on them, and every damn breath he takes is poison in his lungs, but then Jody settles a hand high on his arm and his eyes drop closed.

It’s a long, long moment before he feels like he can breathe again.

He swallows again, and it aches. “So no, Jody, I’m not gonna deal with it. I can’t _let it out_ , because then it doesn’t stop, and that’s it for me. I try to look this thing in the eye, and I’m done for.” He pulls back up and faces her, willing his eyes to dry. “This is all I can do.”

She stares at him hard, the hand on his arm holding tighter. But then she nods, and Dean remembers that she knows this feeling too.

He nods back then turns away again, eyes staring through the window of the little convenience store. Jody doesn’t let go. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr.](https://pantheonofdiscord.tumblr.com)


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